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My thoughts on "saving the planet"
Yesterday I decided to reach out to my sisters here as it so quiet and I know we are very much on the same page in terms of our hopes, dreams and care for all of life including our children. As I lay down and had my normal end of the day thoughts flowing, I reflected on Imani's missive to save the planet. In the hour where light was slowly reappearing when I awoke again to the few birds singing up the dawn, I remembered the days when it was a cacophony of a multitude of songs and I felt a deep sadness of what is already gone in my lifetime.
Certainly I come to my work with women with a certain amount of passion, urgency, wake up call, and alertness to the times we are living in. And if I was really honest, I come too with continued unawareness that astonishes me from the habits that unfold without change. I hate this........repeatedly. Like yesterday, I ordered a drink and it came in a #1 plastic that the company thought we would just throw in the trash. I took mine home to recycle. But STILL. Why don't I remember that I must put in the car the tuppeware, the mug, the things that will carry my leftover food without waste of aluminum, styrofoam, or a temporary plastic container? Changing our habits are a huge act of constant awakeness that often leaves me groggy. There are successes and there are small but important things that we overlook in our zeal and on our way to do something else.
But really where I was headed in this blog is something altogether different. It is my truth that I am not doing what I am doing to save the planet because I am unsure about what that actually means. It sounds good. And if it is our only human hope, it seems like my survival instincts as a mama kick in and I'd do anything to do so. But on the other hand, I am looking at something different. I am not sure right now if I can actually put this into words that are allowed to be spoken among us because hope seems to be the only thing we can presently survive on and to take that away is cruel. I am perhaps wanting to live in alignment with what my truest human nature can be and out of that discover what is possible for our human family together.
The planet and I are both changing. We have reached some over the edge statistics in terms of what is actually transpiring. I am going through perimenopause and there is no stopping where I am headed. She is going through a major rehaul too. We are both hormonal I think. Her with storms and earthquakes. Me with putting down boundaries like cracking faultlines rumbling with molten. Change is the constant. Sustainability is not about what will keep us going in the ways that we have been living but of course as you wisewomen know, the return of the balance of what can live through the changes.
I remember my births. I didn't know if I could live during those changes. But we did. Not all of us do but we did. To be honest, I know that I must be who I am. If I can do this with courage, if I can take my visions and bring them into form, if I can simply be what my nature is asking me to be in my DNA code, here is what I know to be true. I take my cue from the bumblebee that lost its wing. When I saw it I felt for it because it was simply doing what it does and crawling from clover to clover gathering up the pollen until it passed from this world. I take my cue from the caves that are full of millions of year old rock formations and while I stand there in my human infancy against this backdrop I understand that they will be here long after I, and my family are gone.
So what is the deal for me around saving the planet? To be alive myself. To be one with her right in this moment because I am the life of her. To be present. To do what I was born to do. To do this without fail until my last breath. To not know what it all means or where we are going but to rejoice like the fruit fly in my seven days of life to soar.
I promise to do my best. I promise to bring in every new paradigm that I can think of. I promise that I will probably break promises and vows and when I do that I will love myself and keep going. I promise to keep my eyes and heart open to life, all signs of it and to honor death, all signs of it. We are going to go through a great change, you and I. Some call it a death. Some call it a birth and some call it life on mother earth. Change. Nothing to save. Everything to be. Everything to risk. We are letting go even while we are busy saving. Two-thirds of the amphibians have already departed. Me? I listen to the 300 million year old dragonflies. Change is the constant. If we are the problem, we are leaving my dear ones. This is sustainability at its core with the mother. I will live with all the love, hope, aliveness that I can muster and ask the same from you. At the same time, I will know that I do not know the best thing in this crisis except to be fully present to the wonder of it all as we are living it.
I am in good company with you. We are blessed with this wild life of perhaps no hope at all except the stories we choose to make together now. I am going to continue being beauty with everything I have. And you? Was there anything ever to do I wonder through all of time?
Certainly I come to my work with women with a certain amount of passion, urgency, wake up call, and alertness to the times we are living in. And if I was really honest, I come too with continued unawareness that astonishes me from the habits that unfold without change. I hate this........repeatedly. Like yesterday, I ordered a drink and it came in a #1 plastic that the company thought we would just throw in the trash. I took mine home to recycle. But STILL. Why don't I remember that I must put in the car the tuppeware, the mug, the things that will carry my leftover food without waste of aluminum, styrofoam, or a temporary plastic container? Changing our habits are a huge act of constant awakeness that often leaves me groggy. There are successes and there are small but important things that we overlook in our zeal and on our way to do something else.
But really where I was headed in this blog is something altogether different. It is my truth that I am not doing what I am doing to save the planet because I am unsure about what that actually means. It sounds good. And if it is our only human hope, it seems like my survival instincts as a mama kick in and I'd do anything to do so. But on the other hand, I am looking at something different. I am not sure right now if I can actually put this into words that are allowed to be spoken among us because hope seems to be the only thing we can presently survive on and to take that away is cruel. I am perhaps wanting to live in alignment with what my truest human nature can be and out of that discover what is possible for our human family together.
The planet and I are both changing. We have reached some over the edge statistics in terms of what is actually transpiring. I am going through perimenopause and there is no stopping where I am headed. She is going through a major rehaul too. We are both hormonal I think. Her with storms and earthquakes. Me with putting down boundaries like cracking faultlines rumbling with molten. Change is the constant. Sustainability is not about what will keep us going in the ways that we have been living but of course as you wisewomen know, the return of the balance of what can live through the changes.
I remember my births. I didn't know if I could live during those changes. But we did. Not all of us do but we did. To be honest, I know that I must be who I am. If I can do this with courage, if I can take my visions and bring them into form, if I can simply be what my nature is asking me to be in my DNA code, here is what I know to be true. I take my cue from the bumblebee that lost its wing. When I saw it I felt for it because it was simply doing what it does and crawling from clover to clover gathering up the pollen until it passed from this world. I take my cue from the caves that are full of millions of year old rock formations and while I stand there in my human infancy against this backdrop I understand that they will be here long after I, and my family are gone.
So what is the deal for me around saving the planet? To be alive myself. To be one with her right in this moment because I am the life of her. To be present. To do what I was born to do. To do this without fail until my last breath. To not know what it all means or where we are going but to rejoice like the fruit fly in my seven days of life to soar.
I promise to do my best. I promise to bring in every new paradigm that I can think of. I promise that I will probably break promises and vows and when I do that I will love myself and keep going. I promise to keep my eyes and heart open to life, all signs of it and to honor death, all signs of it. We are going to go through a great change, you and I. Some call it a death. Some call it a birth and some call it life on mother earth. Change. Nothing to save. Everything to be. Everything to risk. We are letting go even while we are busy saving. Two-thirds of the amphibians have already departed. Me? I listen to the 300 million year old dragonflies. Change is the constant. If we are the problem, we are leaving my dear ones. This is sustainability at its core with the mother. I will live with all the love, hope, aliveness that I can muster and ask the same from you. At the same time, I will know that I do not know the best thing in this crisis except to be fully present to the wonder of it all as we are living it.
I am in good company with you. We are blessed with this wild life of perhaps no hope at all except the stories we choose to make together now. I am going to continue being beauty with everything I have. And you? Was there anything ever to do I wonder through all of time?
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